My building has been empty for a solid month and I LOVE IT!!!!
The summer duty schedule isn't perfect but anything is better than the restrictions that were placed on us during the actual school year and especially the last few weeks of school.
A lot has changed. Three RDs have left (grad school & other employment opportunities) so there are now 3 new RDs. I got a promotion (woot!!) so I'll now have 2 buildings instead of just 1. I typically don't like change (shocking, considering how often I moved while growing up) so I'm reminding myself to just embrace it.
One of the RDs that left was my go-to hang out buddy. It's been an adjustment to begin doing a lot of things by myself. I am enjoying it though! I'm doing things on my own time-schedule and it is very liberating. I am naturally a very laid-back person and I often just go with the flow of what others want. This is fine to an extent but I've learned that I have to start dictating what I want to do, when I want to do it, and then DO IT. I'm not implying that my hang-out buddy prevented me from doing what I wanted to do....I'm just saying that because of my personality I often put my desires on the back burner because I wanted to be easy-going and I am now discovering how unnecessary that is.
I'm struggling to have the motivation to do actual work (i.e. preparing for next year). I think I'll just relax these remaining days of June and get gung-ho about preparing for next year in July.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wait, you read my e-mails?
Have you ever typed up an email to a superior detailing the exact plan you hoped to implement to solve petty girl drama on your residence hall?
Have you ever then thought that since it was so close to the end of the year then surely you could let the issue just slide under the rug?
After all that, have you then waited 5 days with no response from said superior? Possibly leaped with joy that the issue had been forgotten about? Looked with happiness upon a check-out schedule and saw that all parties involved would be gone in a mere 2 days?
All that happened to me. 4 minutes ago I got an email from the superior telling me to follow the such detailed plan that I had proposed (would take me an hour or so to do everything and would probably just start even more last minute girl drama). Me and my grand ideas.
-
Side Note: Reason #1 To Not Accept Resident's Facebook Friend Requests- So that you don't get facebook chatted about random issues on your evening off.
Have you ever then thought that since it was so close to the end of the year then surely you could let the issue just slide under the rug?
After all that, have you then waited 5 days with no response from said superior? Possibly leaped with joy that the issue had been forgotten about? Looked with happiness upon a check-out schedule and saw that all parties involved would be gone in a mere 2 days?
All that happened to me. 4 minutes ago I got an email from the superior telling me to follow the such detailed plan that I had proposed (would take me an hour or so to do everything and would probably just start even more last minute girl drama). Me and my grand ideas.
-
Side Note: Reason #1 To Not Accept Resident's Facebook Friend Requests- So that you don't get facebook chatted about random issues on your evening off.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The End Is In Sight
I can't believe it. Two weeks separates me from having an empty building again! By May 13th 90% of my residents will have gone home and the remaining stragglers (athletes, part of graduation ceremonies, live extremely far away, etc) will be gone by 6PM on May 19th! I.Can.Not.Wait.
On May 19th I plan to have a life again. I'm going to restart my Netflix account, go to the gym WHENEVER I WANT TO GO (and not just in the few hours I can fit it in to the very complex duty schedule), start running (okay, I can pretend right?), start reading fun books (no longer will Incident Summaries be my main source of leisurely reading), and doing whatever makes ME happy. I realize that spending an entire summer only focusing on me is extremely selfish (or is it?) but the past 9 months (more or less) has focused around my residents. Everyone says that a career in Student Affairs is a very demanding career because it forces you to give so much of yourself. I say that a year in a Live-In position is even more demanding.
I've developed an unhealthy sense of responsibility for my residence hall. Whenever I miss a call I fear that a resident was in dire need for something and I missed out on an opportunity to impact their life for the better. If I sleep through an early morning "Hey, I'm locked out" text message then I'll feel bad that they needed me and I wasn't there to form a connection with them. If my hall has a high number of people on academic warning then I feel like their lack of studying can be traced (in part) to my failure to create a hall that encourages academic growth. If someone decides to transfer/withdraw I wonder if they would have stayed had I "reached out" to them. Absurd? Yes.
My primary responsibility is to make sure that this residence hall is able to be lived in. I can make referrals to various departments and offices like it is going out of style. I enforce college policies and I happen to live here, so I do my best to make the environment homey. I'm not God, I can't reach everyone at every time, for everything they need. I have to keep reminding myself of that. This summer I plan to re-focus and re-energize and hopefully come back for my last year in residence life (at least at this institution at this level) with a ton more energy and ideas.
Residents have begun asking me "Will you miss me this summer?" Is it mean that in my mind I'm saying "HECCCKKK NO!"? I'll miss knowing that someone else is living in the building that I occupy, and that when I'm bored I can walk around my building and at least find 1 person willing to chat with me for a moment or so. I may miss feeling "needed" but I won't miss having to update my white board 20 times a day, writing up policy violations, having a personal phone call interrupted 3 times because someone needs to borrow my iron, and knowing that even though I'm in the shower I still have to evacuate the building if someone decided to pull the fire alarm for fun.
I'm not a mean RD, I promise. I try to have fun programs at various hours to reach the different populations in my building. I try to offer a listening ear even on my evenings off. I will completely change my day's plan if it means it works out better for a resident that I'm meeting with and I change staff meeting times nearly every week to accommodate my RA's schedule. But my attempts to be the best RD came at a price. I'm burned out and I know it. "If I were a rich man..." I would have turned in a 2 hours notice, packed up a truck, and left this place where I sleep/eat/relax/and work.
I've got to make changes for next year for my own personal sanity. Number 1: Physical exercise every 2 days is a requirement, not just a passing thought. My mood is amazingly better when I've spent 12 minutes on a stair-master. Number 2: I have got to realize that I am naturally an introvert and that there is NOTHING wrong with me doing things by myself so that I can re-charge. Walking around Target can be done while I'm alone, I don't have to go with someone just because I'm trying to be nice. Number 3: Eating pizza from the dining hall every day for lunch just isn't healthy. It makes me feel sluggish for 4 hours and 95% of the time I go take a nap instead of getting some work done. Number 4: I don't have to be THE best in order to be able to sleep at night, I just have to do MY best.
On May 19th I plan to have a life again. I'm going to restart my Netflix account, go to the gym WHENEVER I WANT TO GO (and not just in the few hours I can fit it in to the very complex duty schedule), start running (okay, I can pretend right?), start reading fun books (no longer will Incident Summaries be my main source of leisurely reading), and doing whatever makes ME happy. I realize that spending an entire summer only focusing on me is extremely selfish (or is it?) but the past 9 months (more or less) has focused around my residents. Everyone says that a career in Student Affairs is a very demanding career because it forces you to give so much of yourself. I say that a year in a Live-In position is even more demanding.
I've developed an unhealthy sense of responsibility for my residence hall. Whenever I miss a call I fear that a resident was in dire need for something and I missed out on an opportunity to impact their life for the better. If I sleep through an early morning "Hey, I'm locked out" text message then I'll feel bad that they needed me and I wasn't there to form a connection with them. If my hall has a high number of people on academic warning then I feel like their lack of studying can be traced (in part) to my failure to create a hall that encourages academic growth. If someone decides to transfer/withdraw I wonder if they would have stayed had I "reached out" to them. Absurd? Yes.
My primary responsibility is to make sure that this residence hall is able to be lived in. I can make referrals to various departments and offices like it is going out of style. I enforce college policies and I happen to live here, so I do my best to make the environment homey. I'm not God, I can't reach everyone at every time, for everything they need. I have to keep reminding myself of that. This summer I plan to re-focus and re-energize and hopefully come back for my last year in residence life (at least at this institution at this level) with a ton more energy and ideas.
Residents have begun asking me "Will you miss me this summer?" Is it mean that in my mind I'm saying "HECCCKKK NO!"? I'll miss knowing that someone else is living in the building that I occupy, and that when I'm bored I can walk around my building and at least find 1 person willing to chat with me for a moment or so. I may miss feeling "needed" but I won't miss having to update my white board 20 times a day, writing up policy violations, having a personal phone call interrupted 3 times because someone needs to borrow my iron, and knowing that even though I'm in the shower I still have to evacuate the building if someone decided to pull the fire alarm for fun.
I'm not a mean RD, I promise. I try to have fun programs at various hours to reach the different populations in my building. I try to offer a listening ear even on my evenings off. I will completely change my day's plan if it means it works out better for a resident that I'm meeting with and I change staff meeting times nearly every week to accommodate my RA's schedule. But my attempts to be the best RD came at a price. I'm burned out and I know it. "If I were a rich man..." I would have turned in a 2 hours notice, packed up a truck, and left this place where I sleep/eat/relax/and work.
I've got to make changes for next year for my own personal sanity. Number 1: Physical exercise every 2 days is a requirement, not just a passing thought. My mood is amazingly better when I've spent 12 minutes on a stair-master. Number 2: I have got to realize that I am naturally an introvert and that there is NOTHING wrong with me doing things by myself so that I can re-charge. Walking around Target can be done while I'm alone, I don't have to go with someone just because I'm trying to be nice. Number 3: Eating pizza from the dining hall every day for lunch just isn't healthy. It makes me feel sluggish for 4 hours and 95% of the time I go take a nap instead of getting some work done. Number 4: I don't have to be THE best in order to be able to sleep at night, I just have to do MY best.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Yeah...about posting on a regular basis
So, It's been nearly a year since I posted the last post. I did graduate!! I somehow found a way to finish all those papers and research reports. I even made Dean's List which is amazing considering how many of those papers were written/edited/and submitted within an hour of so of it being due.
In about 4 weeks I'll be able to say that I survived my first year of being a Resident Director. I've only wanted to completely quit the field of Student Affairs three or four times. I've considered quitting this job approximately 237 times. I decided to stay another year at this institution and I really hope it was a good idea.
Recap from the past 10 months:
I graduated! Nobody bothered telling me that Graduation could be a STRESSFUL time! If Graduation was only 1/3 as stressful as a wedding me and my boyfriend already decided we are eloping. All the ceremonies we had to attend, directions we had to give out to family members, dinners we had to plan, ugh. Now that it is over I can smile and say "Aww, such a great day" but when I was experiencing it all I wanted to do was fast forward to the moment in which my name got called and I got to snatch my diploma out of the hands of a Sociology professor.
Only God understands how much my diploma means to me (as it is proudly displayed in an obnoxiously large diploma case in my living room/kitchen). Fall 2005-Spring 2009 was an uphill battle with an army pushing me downhill while I carried my body weight's worth of books on my back in a flimsy backpack with no cushioning in the shoulder straps. To me my diploma signifies that I can do whatever I want to do no matter who tells me that I'm incapable...as long as I put my mind to it. Who would have thought that the girl who had a .9 semester gpa her freshmen year and was on academic probation because of those grades for the following 3 semesters would wind up graduating ON TIME and more than qualified to attend a graduate school of her choice in Sociology or Higher Education. A gospel song comes to mind with lyrics consisting of "Who else but God...who else but God".
So I started working in early June at my current place of employment. This was the first time in my life that I was homesick. My parents helped me move into my on-campus apartment, took me to dinner and Walmart, and waved goodbye as I stood in the midst of all my belongings, trying hard not to cry and beg my parents to load everything back up and take me back with them. Don't get me wrong, I'd lived away from home (1.5 hours to be exact) all 4 years of college and typically only went home for the very few holidays that my school forced me to leave campus. I wasn't home-sick at all during college (at times I missed home, but usually a phone call or email helped...I was never a student who sat on my bed weeping because I was away from home)
Looking back, before I started working I had never been in a position where I was in a new environment without pre-established friendships/family kin to assist with my transition to a new environment. Whenever I went to a summer camp I went with 2 or 3 friends. Whenever my family moved to a new state/city/continent; we moved as a family. And when I went to college I was armed with multiple "friends of friends" who emailed me, called me, and checked up on me at least once a week. My cell phone was ringing with people I had met over Orientation (asking me where I was so we could meet up) before my family had even finished the goodbye hugs. Plus, it really didn't hurt that I had already formed a close relationship with a certain individual with whom I later started dating before the end of the Fall semester.
However, I came to this position as a RD in an environment in which I knew NO ONE. Not even a friend of a friend of a friend. I got lost every day I went out in search of a Walmart/ Target/ mall. My GPS was my best friend, other than that....I was fending for myself. Oh, and for the first month I hated my apartment. I was hot, was in an un-air conditioned residence hall (I did have 1 AC unit...and soon got another one), and the apartment that I was living in looked drastically different (and smaller) than the apartment I was shown for my on campus interview.
You'll be happy to know I had an amazing group of co-workers, great supervisors, and that any apartment can look like home with a little bit of work and re-arranging. I soon learned my way around the area and was able to confidently drive without GPS within about 3.5 weeks.
All in all, its been a good year. I'm happy I'm working at this school and hopefully it wont take me a year to write my next post. Don't hold your breath though.
In about 4 weeks I'll be able to say that I survived my first year of being a Resident Director. I've only wanted to completely quit the field of Student Affairs three or four times. I've considered quitting this job approximately 237 times. I decided to stay another year at this institution and I really hope it was a good idea.
Recap from the past 10 months:
I graduated! Nobody bothered telling me that Graduation could be a STRESSFUL time! If Graduation was only 1/3 as stressful as a wedding me and my boyfriend already decided we are eloping. All the ceremonies we had to attend, directions we had to give out to family members, dinners we had to plan, ugh. Now that it is over I can smile and say "Aww, such a great day" but when I was experiencing it all I wanted to do was fast forward to the moment in which my name got called and I got to snatch my diploma out of the hands of a Sociology professor.
Only God understands how much my diploma means to me (as it is proudly displayed in an obnoxiously large diploma case in my living room/kitchen). Fall 2005-Spring 2009 was an uphill battle with an army pushing me downhill while I carried my body weight's worth of books on my back in a flimsy backpack with no cushioning in the shoulder straps. To me my diploma signifies that I can do whatever I want to do no matter who tells me that I'm incapable...as long as I put my mind to it. Who would have thought that the girl who had a .9 semester gpa her freshmen year and was on academic probation because of those grades for the following 3 semesters would wind up graduating ON TIME and more than qualified to attend a graduate school of her choice in Sociology or Higher Education. A gospel song comes to mind with lyrics consisting of "Who else but God...who else but God".
So I started working in early June at my current place of employment. This was the first time in my life that I was homesick. My parents helped me move into my on-campus apartment, took me to dinner and Walmart, and waved goodbye as I stood in the midst of all my belongings, trying hard not to cry and beg my parents to load everything back up and take me back with them. Don't get me wrong, I'd lived away from home (1.5 hours to be exact) all 4 years of college and typically only went home for the very few holidays that my school forced me to leave campus. I wasn't home-sick at all during college (at times I missed home, but usually a phone call or email helped...I was never a student who sat on my bed weeping because I was away from home)
Looking back, before I started working I had never been in a position where I was in a new environment without pre-established friendships/family kin to assist with my transition to a new environment. Whenever I went to a summer camp I went with 2 or 3 friends. Whenever my family moved to a new state/city/continent; we moved as a family. And when I went to college I was armed with multiple "friends of friends" who emailed me, called me, and checked up on me at least once a week. My cell phone was ringing with people I had met over Orientation (asking me where I was so we could meet up) before my family had even finished the goodbye hugs. Plus, it really didn't hurt that I had already formed a close relationship with a certain individual with whom I later started dating before the end of the Fall semester.
However, I came to this position as a RD in an environment in which I knew NO ONE. Not even a friend of a friend of a friend. I got lost every day I went out in search of a Walmart/ Target/ mall. My GPS was my best friend, other than that....I was fending for myself. Oh, and for the first month I hated my apartment. I was hot, was in an un-air conditioned residence hall (I did have 1 AC unit...and soon got another one), and the apartment that I was living in looked drastically different (and smaller) than the apartment I was shown for my on campus interview.
You'll be happy to know I had an amazing group of co-workers, great supervisors, and that any apartment can look like home with a little bit of work and re-arranging. I soon learned my way around the area and was able to confidently drive without GPS within about 3.5 weeks.
All in all, its been a good year. I'm happy I'm working at this school and hopefully it wont take me a year to write my next post. Don't hold your breath though.
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